Mar 27, 2009 14:00 - By: Bloggerqueen
What can you get at Sea Thai Bistrofor ten bucks? Perhaps a stomach ache. I have experienced amazing food at the Sea Thai Bistro in the past. The Red Pumpkin Curry is good enough to put in a hot tub and bathe in. The Grilled Ahi Tuna is delish, so delicate and fresh that you might be forced to order extra to take home and eat with your hands in bed while you watch The Office on the DVR. So I was sadly surprised at a recent lunch.
This is the fictional story of Liz and Pat. Vacationing from their busy urban lives in San Francisco where the noise and politics first drew them there but now, in their later years, makes them want to get away to Wine Country.
“Just as long as we follow the BROCour vacation won’t kill us so stop with your passive aggressive body language, Pat. How was I supposed to know you’d be laid off? I made these reservations last year when your 401(k) still looked like a retirement nest and not a lab rat cage. Who knew the hospital could function without 25% of the RNs?”
“Don’t get me upset this early Liz, all I have to throw-up is hotel coffee. And what does BROC stand for again? Bitch’s Ridiculous Obsessive Chart?” Pat says with a raised eyebrow and a thin veil of sarcasm.
“Budgetary Restriction Outline Chart, Pat. It’s at the top of your laminated portable chart I made for your fanny-pack. Don’t tell me you already forgot how to read a chart!?” Right after the nasty jab left her mouth, she wished she could take it back. But the hurt cracked on Pat’s face and the fear wrinkled between her eyes. Liz put her hand thoughtfully on Pat’s and they stopped their battle. No winner declared.

- Organic – Warm – Romantic
Liz was the more artistic of the two, she appreciated the organic decor although it was vastly different from any of the real Thai restaurants in the city. They had read that the Sea Thai Bistro was more of a fusion restaurant anyway. Pat detested eating at a shopping center but since it had a Pendleton store she considered it less repulsive than, let’s say, a Target plaza.
Pat considered the artwork on the wall as shrubbery, but very nice shrubbery. The walls were painted deep cranberry, the same color as their Subaru Outback. As Pat passed by the shiny solid slab wood bar, she mumbled under her breath “This better not be a yuppie hangout Liz.”
The menu had very few items, other than appetizers and salads, that fit into the BROC criteria. When they ordered two salads, the waitress looked at them with a wary eye and warned “They’re kind of small.” Embarrassed that the waitress was making reference to her lumberjack frame, Pat snapped back “We’re doing an experiment to see what it’s like to be skinny and shallow.” Liz’s face heated up with a menopausal hot flash while she fanned herself with the fine white table linen.

Princess Green Papaya Salad
When the salads arrived, two things came to Liz’s mind: 1) Beautiful presentation and 2) We’re going to starve to death. Liz did adore the giant banana pedal on her Princess Green Papaya Salad, as it was purple, her favorite color, but was confused when her knife wouldn’t cut through it. A large percentage of cost was obviously invested in presentation on not edibility. Her salad was overdressed and lacked the blend of seasonings Thai food is famous for. The green papaya strips were the texture of rubbery turnips. To Liz’s relief, Pat’s salad was tastier. If it had not, Pat would have surely caused a scene and Liz just couldn’t sweat through another hot flash.
Pat’s salad was the Granny Smith Salad with mint, tomato, shallot, cashew, and lemon-lime vinaigrette. The menu promised roasted rice but it was either invisable or forgotten altogether.
After seven minutes their meal was finished. The ice water stopped being refilled, and nothing remained but the bill. As they exited the Sea Thai Bistro, Pat pulled a Luna Bar from her fanny-pack and broke it in half. “Happy Anniversary” she said while handing it over unenthusiastically to Liz. But Liz held her hand to her stomach and cautiously admitted “There’s trouble brewing in Texas.” She could usually eat like a goat, so her intestinal turmoil had come as a shock. “Happy Anniversary” Liz replied as she declined Pat’s offer and wondered instead where she could get a Tums.
And that’s what you get for ten bucks!
Sea Thai Bistro
www.seathaibistrosr.com
2323 Sonoma Avenue
Santa Rosa, CA 95405
(707) 528-8333