Apr 25, 2009 8:30 - By: Bloggerqueen
Another Fictitious Food Fable by the Sharon the Blogger Queen
Robin had been on every diet, but this one was the worst. The Hallelujah diet called for a strict vegan diet with all raw foods. She was saving a ton of time on cooking, but she couldn’t seem to complete a thought without fantasizing about grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon. ”I’ll be in shape for the bikini season by June.” she mumbled inaudibly while one eyelid slacked half closed.
She was doing a little shopping in the town square of Windsor on her way to a restful weekend in Healdsburg when all of a sudden a sultry scent gently awoke her. Her eye opened a little and her mouth started watering. She was ready for her barley supplement and raw vegetable salad but it was in the portable ice sack in the car. She took a couple of steps further along the sidewalk and spotted the sign that explained the aroma. David’s Hot Dogs.

David
The Hallelujah diet also included a lot of spirituality. So naturally Robin attributed this miracle as a message from God “Robin, eat a hot dog.” So she obeyed. She walked into a restaurant owned by man, obviously. A man who is enthusiastic about sports, especially locally. There were jerseys hanging from the ceiling and team pictures on the walls. She noted flat screens tvs but as she was only half conscious, she could not decipher whether it was CNN or an info-mercial.
The beautiful young girl working behind the register greeted her with a warm smile, another sign from God she thought, and asked her what she’d like. “Hmmm. Do you have any raw vegan dogs?” she asked hopefully. “No, but our hot dogs are Vienna Beef Dogs and we have skinless too, if you prefer” she smiled uncomfortably.
Robin hastilly ordered a Mock Ruben. It came with mustard, swiss cheese, and cole slaw or sourkraut. “Ah ha! raw cabbage!” she twittered. There was a tall pub table by the window from which she could watch the people playing with their dogs and kids in the park. The little restaurant was occupied with young people in their 20s. People who didn’t have to worry about saturated fats, carbohydrates, and sodium yet. “God bless them” she said somewhat sarcastically.
Her order was ready fast and she almost tinkled with excitement as she admired the fresh fat bun with poppy seeds on top. She grabbed a pile of paper napkins, to hell with the environment, and sat there ready for her feast. For just a snap moment a voice inside her head said “what about bikini season?” She knew that was the devil talking to her and that God had surely placed this perfect Mock Ruben in front of her today for a reason. ”And He will surely help me find a tummy flattening one-piece too” and then she scrunched the soft bun loaded with beef, coleslaw, cheese, and mustard into her waiting mouth.

Mock Ruben
Every bite made her stronger. She almost didn’t want to wipe her mouth so that she could wear her mustard and coleslaw dribbles proudly into the Windsor shops exclaiming “Behold bikini heathens! Rise against the famine and eat a hot dog from God!” But she was never one for speaking in public so she just dropped a tip in the jar and left.
Mock Ruben: $4.50
Soda: $1.50
Napkins: Free
And that’s what you get for ten bucks!