Restaurants

Latin Cafe 2000 snapshots

Some food simply doesn’t need an atmosphere to improve it.

While hanging out in South Florida before and after a conference (held on the Carnival Imagination no less, which reminds me of that classic Dire Straits song lyric “that ain’t working. That’s the way you do it.”) I managed to stumble into two different groups of attendees who invited me to dinner … at a Cuban restaurant.

This Midwest meat-and-potatoes gal had images of chicken heads floating in the chicken noodle soup, mainly because that’s what the waitress put in front of my friend the last time we ate off the beaten cultural path in Miami. I’ve considered counseling to erase the image from my mind.

But when you’re the organizer for a 3-day group event, you go along to get along on these issues. So I said yes, and hoped I passed a drugstore to stock up on Snicker bars in my room back at the Doubletree Grand Biscayne.

In Miami, we pored over recommendations here at Uptake, and wound up choosing Latin Cafe 2000 local franchise — my friend because the concierge recommended it, and then I nodded yes because it was close. I dislike driving our SUV in the first place, and downtown Miami doesn’t do a thing to improve that attitude. And remember, I figured I was headed toward some kind of voodoo dinner to boot.

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Mamacita's guacamole

A stranger named Jimmy is my new best friend.

Back in June, when I wrote about Cancun Mexican Grill in Hollywood, Florida, Jimmy suggested I also try Mamacita’s Mexican Bar & Grill on the Broadwalk. I agreed to stop in the next time I was in town.

I’m not a gal who takes such written commitments lightly, so finding this place was on my first night’s agenda. And since I had my husband along on this trip, he enthusiastically endorsed the idea after he heard the words “Mexican food” — even if I did have to talk him through how to drive a mile straight down Ocean Drive, turn right on Johnson Street and find a parking space with a meter. Duh.

I was excited to see the location: all tables at Mamacita’s have a wonderful view of the Atlantic Ocean, and we were ahead of the crowd so we could take our pick. Chips, salsa and the sea are really all it takes to make my soul content. My husband, however, contained his excitement until they handed him a menu, and then his eyes bugged out of his head.

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The surprising Creolina's, now in Davie

The first day one of my best friends found out I like to vacation in the Fort Lauderdale/Hollywood area, she asked if I have ever eaten at Creolina’s.

The answer was no.

And, I’m sorry to say, even with the 10 trips I’ve made since she first brought it up, I never managed to look it up on Mapquest and drop in. I had lots of excuses: the spring breakers I was with didn’t want Creole food. I might get lost. Parking is a pain in downtown Ft. Lauderdale.

Pretty lame, huh? Especially now, after she and I were actually in Broward County together this week, and she personally drove me to Creolina’s Dixie Takeout new location in Davie for lunch. I have to admit, you could have knocked me over with a feather for the next hour.

I mean, seriously: This hole-in-the-wall strip center restaurant with an Old Western font sign too tiny to see from the frontage road is THE Creolina’s? The one the South Florida media goes nuts over? The place where the mayor eats and business people hang out? No. Way. Creolina’s is an elegant French bistro where you dress up for lunch and hope not to drop gravy on the white linen …  or so I imagined.

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Cody's Original Roadhouse

I am grateful I’m not a shy traveler. Unlike a lot of folks in my family, if I’m on the road and need a break, or hanging out at the hotel and hungry for a meal, I’m not relegated to drive-thrus at burger joints. I’ll walk up to the hostess at any sit-down casual dining restaurant and ask for a table for one. No book tucked under my arm, no pad of paper to look busy.

Which is how I wound up having dinner at Cody’s Original Roadhouse in Ocala, Florida. I was prowling around looking for a meal in the middle of the afternoon — hanging out at La Quinta Inn and Suites would mean working — and passed this unusual building with an old Chevy truck in front. I figured it for a regional chain right away, but it’s not a chain we have, so it was instantly cravable.

It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out they really like the word “original” to describe themselves, even though both Logan’s and Texas Roadhouse share the Roadhouse label in their names. According to their website, original in this case means “an era gone by, when things were simpler, more casual and definitely relaxed.”

Route 66 pattern

Which explains why I walked in and saw that their booth fabric is the same cloth someone used for a Route 66 purse, carry-on luggage and vest I own. That pretty much sums up casual for me. And lucky me strolled in during happy hour, when I could get a chopped sirloin steak, baked potato, rolls, and a salad to look at for $8.98. Oh, and don’t forget the all-you-can-eat peanuts at the table.

Like I said, they share a lot in common with other national chains we know.

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Captain D's two-piece fish

Apparently my emergency excursion to Long John Silver’s earlier this month has set off seismic cravings for cheap, greasy fried fish sticks, because this week I found myself in the parking lot at Captain D’s Seafood.

I tried to excuse my new habit by saying it was only fair that I review both competitors in the interest of good journalism technique. The problem with that lie is I’ve never really stopped eating at Captain D’s over the years, especially if they had a coupon. Still, I could objectively compare the chains’ quality and experience just as I did Moe’s and Chipotle, right?

Wrong. You see, to my complete surprise, I have yet to figure out the difference between my meals.

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It was the worst meal my husband has made in 26 years, and that’s counting the time he poured a Guinness beer into a pot of chili, then proceeded to burn it.

The cure: Long John Silver's

I knew something was wrong the minute we opened the hard shells in the Taco Bell kit and the room suddenly smelled like a Fisher Price factory. Still, that didn’t deter either of us from fixing a taco and taking a crunch out of the end.

I’m still sorry 5 days later. Since we never found an expiration date on the box, I can’t say for sure how out-of-date that seasoning mix was that we stirred into the hamburger, but my educated guess is 12 years. At that moment, all I could fixate on was finding a way to scrub the taste off my tongue.

My husband went with the knee-jerk reaction: Let’s go to Taco Bell and get the real thing. That earned him a smack up the head. The only thing strong enough to counter the putrid tang lingering in my mouth was Yum Brand’s other quick-service franchise: Long John Silvers. Which shows you how desperate I was, because I haven’t set foot in that fried fish shack in five years after enduring horrible customer service twice in a row.

Not to mention their food can overpower a lion’s morning breath, which was, of course, now my only goal.

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Welcome, Monical's Pizza

I hate it when my brother gets something I don’t.

Never mind that we’re both in our 40s, adults with professional careers, mortgage payments and all those life balance questions middle-age Americans struggle with. He had a Monical’s Pizza on his side of Indianapolis and I didn’t. And he was always waving it in our face, saying things like, “Hey, you guys want to go over to Monical’s for dinner? The kids love that place.”

See what I mean? That kind of superiority from the kid brother eats at you over time.

Well, nana nana boo boo. Guess who just opened their doors in Greenwood? Yep, now I, too, can enjoy their thin and pan crust pizzas whenever I want to, and I don’t even have to drag along kids. But don’t tell my sibling this secret: I failed to notice this new addition to our restaurant families until last week.

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That's just wrong!

Boston Market and I got off on the wrong foot years ago. That’s my husband’s fault, as he mistook what this new building was on the south side of Indianapolis and had me get dressed up for a special dinner out.

Believe me, rotisserie chicken you order at the counter does not require a skirt, high heels and make-up.

Since that fateful night, they had the bad luck to be the restaurant my family chose to stop at when we were  within a few minutes of Hollywood Beach, my special corner of the world. I’ve managed to knock my full drink into my lap in their booth. It’s where my friend’s son started complaining about an ear ache after a day of swimming, which led to my misdiagnosing the situation and dropping alcohol onto an infected eardrum, bursting it immediately.

Boston Market: Wrong place, wrong time.

So tonight I decided it was time to bury the hatchet, go in and have a nice, normal meal at this fast casual restaurant. They serve healthy food (at least by my “Poptart for lunch” standards). They just announced a “Two Kids Eat Free” that allows a family to get two kids’ meals  free with purchase of an adult entree. (That’s a heck of a deal at the cash register.) They have an awesome crust on their chicken pot pies. I really want to like them.

Sigh. But I don’t.

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It’s not especially fun to be female when your birthday rolls around. Oh, I couldn’t give a fin flip about my age — but as the organizer, scheduler and event planner in this house, it means I have to coordinate my own party.

Mouth-watering salmon at Bonefish

The calls usually start at the beginning of the week: “So, where are we going to celebrate your birthday on Friday?” Now this is a tricky proposition, because you never want to name something out of your guests’ budget comfort zone. On the other hand, they looked rather aghast when I threw out the idea of ordering some pizzas and whooping it up in the back room at Donatos. After all, since my teen-age friend landed a job there, we’ve done that on plenty of ordinary nights.

I had already eaten at On the Border this week (uh, twice), and I spent a few minutes considering Famous Daves, because nothing says happy birthday like BBQ stains on your jeans. Still, the fact that we were looking for dinner at 6:30 in Indianapolis on a Friday all but required me to choose a restaurant that takes reservations. Once I realized that, the dilemma was over. We were heading to Bonefish Grill.

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I love to attend seminars at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Indianapolis. For starters, they are connected to Circle Centre Mall, so you can park a bit more cheaply and walk over regardless of the weather. I think the flowing water fountains and glass elevator are cool. And my friend is a concierge there, so I can always count on a friendly face to say hello to on my breaks.

Best chili in Indy

Of course, there’s also the fact that they turn the meeting rooms down to 50 degrees so even those wearing sweaters are huddled up in their chairs trying to conserve body heat.

But escaping the man-made Antarctica is only the first reason to anticipate your lunch break: Charlie & Barney’s Bar and Grill is among the restaurants choices at the ground floor level. Good old C&B on Indy’s north side was a big favorite of mine back in the days when I put on a suit every day and sat in an office chair, mainly because you can’t beat their chili with spaghetti.

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